Thankful

As I sat at the table at Jeff's sister's house this thanksgiving, I realized just how much I have to be thankful for. It sounds so cliche but it's true. Last thanksgiving I was just getting into my radiation regimen. At that point I was dreading my treatments. Not because the radiation itself caused any discomfort, but because the position in which I had to lie resulted in such excruciating pain. The tumor was putting a tremendous amount of pressure on my femoral nerve. This pressure could be partially alleviated by changing positions, but unfortunately the position in which I had to lie for radiation was such that the tumor pressed incessantly on the nerve. This resulted in agonizing pain and also uncontrollable leg twitches (much to the dismay of my radiation oncologist who of course wanted me to remain perfectly still). You see, I took part in a national radiation study of which my rad onc dr. was a huge part. My treatment was called IGRT (image guided radiation therapy). Very very specific field of treatment, so everything had to be just so. The first several treatments were the worst. At one point they actually gave me 2 morphine injections to try to knock out some of the pain. Eventually they put me back on a nerve medication. They titrated up quickly so to speed up the relief.

As I sat at my grandma's house last Thanksgiving, my joints began to stiffen and swell and I started to develop a rash on my legs. It was getting more and more painful and by the next day, I couldn't move my neck. I went back to the hospital to find out I was having a reaction to the medication. It took several days being off the Neurontin to start to feel better.

Anyway, I felt so lucky and thankful as I sat at thanksgiving dinner this year. Thankful that I wasn't in pain. thankful that my cancer is gone, thankful that I'm with my kids another year. thankful for my friends and family.

Look around. No matter how bad you think things are, there is most likely someone who has it a lot worse. Be thankful for life, no matter how hard it gets. You never know when things are going to change...